Terms for bathroom needs 教我如何(講)去小便

Speaking of "AWE some possum," today we are going to look at different ways to talk about our bathroom needs. Some are euphemisms while others are considered more vulgar:

General terms:
去厠所/ 去toilet - to go to the bathroom
方便 - to convenience
解決 - to solve (a problem)
好急 - urgent/ desperate 

Figure 1. Terms for bathroom needs ranked by level of politeness and maturity

	"No. 1"	No. 2
Motherese/ baby talk	痾o殊o殊	痾bat bat/ 痾臭臭
Neutral (used in family)	痾尿	痾屎
Formal (also used by medical providers)	小便	大便
Colloquial (a little 麻甩）	開細	開大
More polite	小解	大解
Humorous/ figurative (colloquial)	唱歌 / 交水費	踎塔 /放低幾両
Humorous/ figurative (more vulgar)	放水	爆石／紮馬
Humorous/ figurative (neologism)	--	去玩手機

Of these, let's further examine the figurative terms: 

• 唱歌 - to sing (to mask the sound made during the act?) 
• 交水費 - to pay the water bill 
• 踎塔 - to squat down 
• 放低幾両 - put down a few "ounces" (Chinese unit of weight)  
• 放水 - turn on the water 
• 爆石 - exploding out rocks* (nice imagery...) 
• 紮馬 - "the horse stance" in kungfu; basically squatting  
• 去玩手機 - to play on the phone. Because what better place to update your FB status than on the toilet?  

What other ways have you heard people use when they need to see a man about a dog?

仲有咩其他方法講要去廁所？ 

By the way, a related term 借尿遁 means using the bathroom as an excuse to avoid a difficult situation.

*Edit: "exploding out rocks": previously "breaking rocks." correction courtesy of reader NK.